Letter to William:

I know this is your blog- your baby book ascribed through your parents eyes, but I have to report something:

It's an acknowledgement of you as a person. I think you came online some time between your third and fourth year and you have developed an awareness as an "I" some time in this year. I know I did at this time. I have my firs memories of going on a big trip with my grandparents at that time.

So, it's fair and true that I start addressing these posts to YOU because I know it will become less and less about the William through my eyes and how I see you and more and more about your own experiences.

In the last few nights you have been deciding how you will go to sleep. Your Dad and I recently remarked on this. You have decided how and when you will go to sleep after reading time.

No longer are you interested in just letting us drift off with you. You have expressly asked us to leave or to sleep on the floor so you can have your own space.

I am amazed, always, at you. Not only are you a charming and adroit individual, now you are defining your limits.

Your Dad and I were blown away by your temperance initially when you decided, all on your own, that you didn't need your pacifier any longer at 3. We were prepared for an entire dance of give and take when we started talking about "big boys" and how they didn't need "mamas." In the space of a night you decided you didn't want your pacifier and gave it up. No muss, no fuss. It wasn't needed.

I don't wish to embarrass you, but you were the same about potty training. There were some minor anxieties due to the fact that you couldn't (with your small hands and large doorknobs) work the bedroom door in time with your bladder.. but those accidents were in the span of months. You've never had a potty accident since you've decided to become potty trained. Your Dad and I are amazed.

We are not only amazed at your resolve, but the EASE of your resolve, the way you've decided to make a change to your personhood and then gone on and done it.

I don't like to count chickens... but I hope this speaks to a part of your essential character, not only that you can easily resolve to change, but that the change in and of itself, happens without fanfare and just IS. The person who can make that kind of change is a rare individual (to me) indeed.

I hope you can continue to exercise this internal strength you demonstrate, this zen-like appreciation/love/letting go and moving on from the things that bring you comfort. Nothing more demonstrates to me (your ma), that you are secure in yourself and that is my greatest desire for you as a person.

I love you, William. And I speak for your Dad, we love you, my darling. Happy Christmas and happy fourth year.